Inuyasha Meets AIM
by ForbalaTheGreen
Summary: pretty self-explanatory. just a fic i'll work at when i'm bored or have writer's block. pretty ADD and completely unrealistic in many ways. kikyou-bashing. sesshy-praise
1. Prologue

PROLOGUE

PROLOGUE

Kagome led Inuyasha into a cyber café and sat down at a computer, turning one on for herself and one for her sword-happy boyfriend (caution: foreshadow!!).

"Inuyasha, this is a computer," explained Kagome.

"Okay…."

Suddenly, the computer beeped loudly. Inuyasha jumped back, yelled in shock, pulled out his Tetsusaiga…and sliced clean through the poor, innocent machine, showing the wires and chips and such.

"Inuyashaaaaaa!!"

A waiter-clerk-geek-guy walked over, looking unpleasantly angry. "What happened?!"

"I'll pay for that. Here's my address, bill me." The schoolgirl walked away, dragging the hanyou mercilessly behind. Once home, she said her favourite word: "SIT!!"

Some of Inuyasha's ribs were heard to crack….


	2. Chapter 1

So I was reading Inuyasha fanfics and Kikyou came up and I get really pissed at her all the time, because she's a zombie bitch-

**So I was reading Inuyasha fanfics and Kikyou came up and I get really pissed at her all the time, because she's a zombie bitch-whore…in my mind, at least. Anyway, so I wanted to bitch at her, and I decided to write this, because it's been a while since I've written anything. So here you go: Inuyasha IMs!!**

**BTW, this is my first nonsensical fic, so please pretend this is all logical. Don't I have the right to write one completely fucked up fic? Everyone else does. I WANNA DO IT TOOOOOO!!**

**Ehem. I'm so sorry.**

**Enjoy!**

**-Forbala-**

**WARNINGS: joking references to rape; mentions of sex, mud pits, cat fights, and lechers/perverts; gay frog; sexy men; hot women; evil sex god with gorgeous silver hair and OMFG muscles and an amAHzingly huge pen—er…sword….**

**DISCLAIMER: I run up to a vending machine with the label **_**RIGHTS TO SEXY ANIME CHARACTERS AND THEIR ANIME**_**, pop in several quarters, and stab the button for Sesshoumaru. Sadly, I push it so hard and so many times that it smashes into thousands of tiny pieces!! Uwaaaaaah!! (And therein lies your sex ed for the week! Be gentle or you'll break your "toys" . )**

CHAPTER ONE: AND SO IT BEGINS

I'm not sure how many of these people will show up, but I'm feeling the need to create SNs for everybody. Here goes!

Screennames: 

Kagome: backtothefuture101

Inuyasha: inuyashakicksASS

Kikyou: GiveMeYourSoul

Sesshoumaru: LordoftheWest

Miroku: youshouldletmeloveyou

Sango: lovelorndemonslayer

Shippou: kitsunekunnumbah1

Rin: PrincessFlowers

Jaken: gayfrog

Naraku: ixholdxyourxheartxinxmyxhand

Kagura: FreedomIsInTheDistance

Kouga: wolvesdoITbetter

xXx

_Backtothefuture101_ has just signed on.

_InuyashakicksASS_ has just signed on.

xXx

Backtothefuture101: hey inuyasha! wats up?

InuyashakicksASS: you talk weird. did you get a head injury or something?

Backtothefuture101: no, its txt talk. nvrmind. wat r u doing?

InuyashakicksASS: i'm sitting right beside you but using some weirdass box to talk to you. why are we doing this again?

Backtothefuture101: bcuz its fun!! 

xXx

_GiveMeYourSoul_ has just signed on.

xXx

GiveMeYourSoul: how am i here?

Backtothefuture101: don't ask. fanfiction writers have no sense of logic.

GiveMeYourSoul: i'll pretend to understand that.

Backtothefuture101: thank u vry much

InuyashakicksASS: kikyou! hi!

GiveMeYourSoul: oh, inuyasha! i didn't know you were here! you should come over to my place so i can drag you to hell—er, i mean…KISS YOU!

InuyashakicksASS: 'kay, i'll be right there!!

(Off-screen: Inuyasha stands and is about to sprint his way over to Kikyou's non-existent apartment to be sucked into hell—er, kissed! Eheh. Yeah….

But Kagome screams "SIT!!" nice and loud and Inuyasha faceplants the floor of the cyber café they are sitting in. Please pretend this makes an ounce of sense. Now back to the computers.)

InuyashakicksASS: ehm…actually, i can't make it just now.

GiveMeYourSoul: kagome, stop controlling him like that! he loves ME! you two aren't even from the same era!!

Backtothefuture101: shut up, zombie whore!! its not like u can talk! ur DEAD!! :(

GiveMeYourSoul: you wear skirts that barely cover your ass! you're the whore!

Backtothefuture101: ok, i'll admit tht it makes no sense that i wear modern clothes n feudal japan n tht i havnt bin stond 4 indecency. but thts not th pt. th pt is tht ur a SKANK HAG whos 2x his age n tryn 2 kill inuyasha! wat kinda luv izzat?? n need i remind u tht ur DEAD??

GiveMeYourSoul: i'm still way more powerful. and inuyasha doesn't have to save me all the time!

InuyashakicksASS: she's got a point there, kagome.

Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul: SHUT UP INUYASHA AND BUTT OUT!!

InuyashakicksASS: eep O.O -runs away-

xXx

_Youshouldletmeloveyou_ has just signed on.

xXx

Youshouldletmeloveyou: hey, girls…and inuyasha. hows it hangin? :D

InuyashakicksASS: i'm afraid miroku. hide me. PLEASE.

Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul: SHUT UP INUYASHA!!

Youshouldletmeloveyou: oh shit!! am i missing a cat fight? should i get the mud pit??

Lovelorndemonslayer: you're the biggest lecher EVER!!

Youshouldletmeloveyou: ah! sango! nice to see you, my LOVE 333

Lovelorndemonslayer: prove it

Youshouldletmeloveyou: ehhhhhheheh "

WolvesdoITbetter: hey kagome! wanna go have sex?? -wiggly eyebrows-

Backtothefuture101: O.O -eyes burn out-

Youshouldletmeloveyou: you are my hero!! XD

Lovelorndemonslayer and Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul: PERVERT!!

InuyashakicksASS: YOU GODDAMM INBRED FLEABITTEN WOLF!! I'LL KILL YOU!! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!! I'LL CIRCUMCIZE YOU RIGHT NOW—IF I CAN FIND ANYTHING TO CUT OFF XP

WolvesdoITbetter: notice the name mutt. you'll find plenty. so waddaya say kagome? yes?? yes??

Backtothefuture101: listen kouga. ur hott. rly hott. DAMN ur hott!!

WolvesdoITbetter: yesssss

InuyashakicksASS: kagome!! :"(

Backtothefuture101: eh right!! anyway!! sry kouga but take a hike

WolvesdoITbetter: awwww man!! :"(

xXx

_LordoftheWest_ has just signed on.

_Gayfrogservant_ has just signed on.

_PrincessFlowers_ has just signed on.

xXx

LordoftheWest: i'm off to slaughter thousands and rape millions of screaming fangirls

Lovelorndemonslayer and Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul: O.O WAIT FOR USSSSS!! RAPE UUUUUUS!!

Gayfrog: yaaaah!! lord sesshykins!! wait up!! RAPE ME FIRST, DAMMIT!!

All but Jaken: -.-" (massive sweatdrop) this addition of Jaken wanting rape is curtosy of shippourinKIMS11

PrincessFlowers: wait for me mr. lord/daddy/lover man!!

InuyashakicksASS: that bitch of a writer is going to make us gay for a few seconds so the yaoi otaku fangirls can have their squealing. dammit

InuyashakicksASS and WolvesdoITbetter and Youshouldletmeloveyou: WAIT FOR US!! SODOMIZE US SESSHY!!

xXx

_YaoiOtakuFangirls_ have just signed on en masse.

_ForbalaWriterGodSan_ has just signed on.

xXx

YaoiOtakuFangirls: YAAAAAAAAYYYY!!

ForbalaWriterGodSan: heeheehee, yaoi…-drooooool-

xXx

_LordoftheWest _has just signed off.

_Gayfrog _has just signed off.

_PrincessFlowers _has just signed off.

xXx

InuyashakicksASS and WolvesdoITbetter and Youshouldletmeloveyou: man am i glad THAT'S over!!

Lovelorndemonslayer and Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul: SAME HERE!!

Lovelorndemonslayer and Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul and InuyashakicksASS and WolvesdoITbetter and Youshouldletmeloveyou: KILL THE WRITER!!

ForbalaWriterGodSan: oh shit…-runs away-

xXx

_YaoiOtakuFangirls_ have just signed off en masse to find yaoi elsewhere.

_ForbalaWriterGodSan_ has just signed off to escape angry anime characters.

xXx

Backtothefuture101: …tht wuz weird

InuyashakicksASS: very

Lovelorndemonslayer and GiveMeYourSoul and WolvesdoITbetter and Youshouldletmeloveyou: -nod-

xXx

**Looks like everyone but Shippou, Kagura, and Naraku showed up today! This might be just a oneshot, but it'll probably be my "I'm bored and need to write insanity" story. So, I hope you questioned my insanity upon reading this! Haha!**


	3. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER TWO

inuyashakicksASS has signed on.

backtothefuture101 has signed on.

inuyashakicksASS: hey kagome

backtothefuture101: hey inuchan

inuyashakicksASS: dear god, don't call me that

backtothefuture101: well fine

inuyashakicksASS: . . .

backtothefuture101: . . .

backtothefuture101: i was just listening to the radio and—

inuyashakicksASS: what's a radio?

backtothefuture101: i'm not answering that considering you're using a computer. and so i heard this song that should totally be our song

inuyashakicksASS: …is the slammin screen door, sneakin out late tappin on your window…

backtothefuture101: oh dear god. thank you for that lovely image of my overly violent, feudal boyrfriend singing taylor swift. i needed that

inuyashakicksASS: you're very welcome

backtothefuture101: the song is really cute though. it's called "at the beginning". youtube it

inuyashakicksASS: k, hang on.

-Three Minutes and Fifty Seconds Later…-

inuyashakicksASS: that's a girly song

backtothefuture101: this coming from a man who sings taylor swift

inuyashakicksASS: don't you dare tell anyone about that! especially my damned brother!!

backtothefuture101: okay taylor

inuyashakicksASS: wench

backtothefuture101: i feel so loved. and you wonder why i don't want to live with you…

backtothefuture101: but don't you think that song is perfect? it's like it was written just for us!!

inuyashakicksASS: yeah, actually. was it?

backtothefuture101: no dumbass

inuyashakicksASS: you don't havta be so rude about it

backtothefuture101: : P

backtothefuture101: gah! g2g! class if gonna start in 10min!!

backtothefuture101 has logged off.

inuyashakicksASS: fine. love you too

inuyashakicksASS has logged off.

xXx

"I love you, too, Inuyasha," Kagome whispered, smiling, as she ran out the door.


End file.
